I Will Always Love You
by NalSweetheart
Summary: Kanda was my only regret in life, and I wondered every now and then why he had to tell me what he kept hidden for so long. Perhaps if he hadn't, my pain would have been so much less.


**I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU**

**LENALEE**

Four days. That's how long it took for the symptoms to be recognised.

Weeks ago, a Level Four akuma injected Kanda with a poison whilst his and Lavi's mission to Rome. He acted differently when he returned to the Black Order, and denied any of Lavi's admissions of the poison spreading, saying he was fine and it was nothing serious.

Brother had felt unsure, and made everybody keep an eye on him, and put hidden cameras in his room. Sure enough, in four days, actions beyond Kanda's characteristics were recognised. He began to shake in his sleep, convulsing and shivering like he was being possessed. He'd sometimes stop his meditation, and his eyes would open and he'd stop breathing before returning back to his previous state and resume meditating.

It was when he was in the cafeteria a week ago, and he got angry at one of the Finders, did he twist the Finder's arm and his eyes glowered a bright red.

He was locked up immediately, and injected with a medication that knocked him out. After extracting some blood and testing it, we were sure of the poison. I remember being ordered with Allen and Lavi to search the library and find a book on the poison.

Brother was certain we'd find something. I agreed immediately, for I could not just watch Kanda act the way he was for the rest of his life, not when my feelings for him were beyond friendship.

We found a book on the poison. Galver, it was called. The poison spread throughout the body and slowly killed off all the living cells, and the body reacted by sometimes losing control. The symptoms were as present, convulsing, no breathing, changed eye colour.

Thank the Lord that there was a cure, a rare plant in the Greece, or which had to be mixed with an Innocence.

'However, there is a problem,' Brother said, once he told me, Allen and Lavi the cure.

'What is it?' I asked, feeling panicked.

'The cure is only a theory. It has proven to work before, but once it was used again, the poisoned person died. Kanda could still die, even if he is treated the cure,'

The whole Order responded to this with shock, but I was determined to try. Allen and I were to go and retrieve the plant from Greece within three days, and Kanda was to be kept under lockdown until our return, and was not to be told of what his situation.

-0-0-0-

Allen and I were fast on our journey, and was back at the Order in two days time. We gave the plant to Komui before I asked him if I could see Kanda.

'Lenalee, he hasn't seen anybody, and the guards always report him shouting inside. On the cameras, his eyes are constantly red. I cannot just let you go in,' Komui answered sternly.

'Brother, please. Turn off the cameras and just give me ten minutes,' I begged.

'No, Lenalee,' he answered.

'Just ten minutes,' I repeated.

He looked at me curiously.

'Five,' he said.

'Deal,' I responded.

0-0-0-0

As promised, I got into the room Kanda was secured in, the cameras turned off. The guards were to be at the door to open whenever just in case Kanda lost it and I needed to get out.

Closing the secured metal door behind me, I looked around the room. The only furniture was a bed and a bookshelf in the corner. Kanda lay on the bed on his stomach, eyes closed and shirtless. I walked closer, and sat on my knees next to the bed. His eyes remained shut, and I lifted my hand to trace shapes on his bare back.

I drew of what I could think of, a lotus flower, Innocence, the tattoo that was on Kanda's chest. Anything that I felt related to the situation, and it took all I had not to give a sigh of defeat.

'You're back,' Kanda murmured. I looked up at his face, but his eyes were still closed.

'I'm back,' I assured, though I am not sure how he knew I ever left.

'For how long were you gone?' he asked.

'Two days,'

'It felt like forever in this hellhole,' I wasn't sure if he was himself until he opened his eyes and its normal colour was there, no redness detectable.

I dropped my hand.

'I missed you,' I whispered.

He looked at me intently before pulling back and laying on his side, gesturing for me to join him on the bed. I lay beside him, and his arm curled around me, pulling me close like I was the only thing he has touched in days.

There was a few moments of silence before he spoke.

'I'm dying, aren't I?' he said.

A lump rose in my throat.

'You don't know that,'

'I overhear the guards. I'm dying, and the chances of survival are low,' he said lowly.

I looked up at his face.

'Don't say that,' I told him.

He remained silent, and I cupped his cheek, stroking below his eyes with my thumb.

'Why did you come?' he asked.

'I wanted to see you,' I said.

He didn't seem to believe me.

'Lenalee,' he alleged. His voice didn't hold the pressure and sternness it used to. It was tired, and fading.

'I want you to know,' I whispered, 'that no matter what happens,' I hesitated to speak.

'What?' he questioned.

'No matter what happens, I will always love you,' I whispered.

-0-0-0-0-

The cure was given to Kanda the next day, and we waited week for it to take effect. I spent most of my days in that room with him that week. It was one day that we were just sitting, and I was watching him meditate, did he speak to me.

'Lenalee,' he said.

'Yes,' I responded softly.

'Know that I have always loved you,' he stated.

A lump rose in my throat again.

'Why are you telling me now?' I asked.

He didn't answer.

-0-0-0-0-

The cure had failed.

The day after Kanda had expressed to me his feelings, he died, and I understood why he told me. Because he knew he would never get a chance to say it again, and he knew he wasn't going to live to see the next sunset.

Kanda was my only regret in life, and I wondered every now and then why he had to tell me what he kept hidden for so long. Perhaps if he hadn't, my pain would have been so much less.


End file.
